The kids are crazy tonight! Both yelling, screaming at times. Running from one end of the house the the other and leaving a wake of destruction behind them. Truly they are not doing anything wrong, they are playing together and just being kids! But I am tired and it is wearing on me. I sit down on the couch, I ponder for a second, my wife and I exchange an exhausted glance and that's it! I stand up, turn to the girls, they stop and look up at me! I reach down, grab the blanket from the couch and throw it over my head. "Roar" I let out a monster roar and start lurching around the house, both girls breaking out screaming and laughing! I can hear them scatter! Suddenly I am tackled, mommy has me pinned, I hear the rally call " I have him girls the monster is down get him quick" two little monster attack, I roll around as if fighting for freedom, but mostly just dodging tickles and trying to tickle them back. This is family, the laundry is piled up, dishes aren't done and I am sure there are a few dozen other things I could do. But this is family this is where I am needed. Though tired we are all now relaxed and happy as can be. We will settle out for some couch cuddles and soon the girls will call it a night. Everything will wait. Once they are in bed I am sure some more time will be spent with my pregnant wife, and then eventually I will hit the dishes and try to tidy and finally call it a night. I don't care if I am tired, if I am up early to catch up, I know that family is first, laughing is needed and hugs will always prevail!
Monday, 27 January 2014
Wednesday, 22 January 2014
Raise them the same.
Impossible!
As our little girls start to grow we try to raise them the same. Try to ensure we are consistent from one child to the next. But I have come to realize that this is impossible! When we "Duck" she was it, there was two of us and one of her. We had more time and more energy to devote to her. We made sure she was independent we taught her how to do things on her own. And well let me tell you she is independent. From when she was a baby we actually had to teach her how to cuddle. She never liked to be swaddled, she wanted as much space as possible. My wife would sneak into her room in the middle of the night, pick her up and rock her. Over time she started to cuddle, and well now can be a bit of a cuddle bug. Then came "Bee", and from the moment she came out she wanted to be held close wanted to know we were there. She is affectionate and very conscious of those around her. She isn't quite as brave but will try anything her sister does. "Bee" has us and "Duck", we have learned from our first and now balance two kids. So I know there is no way to raise one exactly the same as the other but still looking at the little difference I ponder. I go over everything that happened in the operating room when we had the C-section, were the little differences the start of the girls unique qualities? I think about the differences in day care, about bed time routines, so many variables. Is it all our actions that guides them or were they just naturally different? I really think its a balance of both. I look at these girls running around and know there will always be differences, we will always try to be fair but there will always be differences. Would we really want two children exactly the same, no.. never, the little differences are what makes them unique. The end goal is to raise strong, confident individuals who are respectful, hard working and loving! Girl or boy these are qualities I think we should all strive for. I guess I may over think things but these girls are my world, and I want to know I have done everything I can to give them opportunity to succeed.
As our little girls start to grow we try to raise them the same. Try to ensure we are consistent from one child to the next. But I have come to realize that this is impossible! When we "Duck" she was it, there was two of us and one of her. We had more time and more energy to devote to her. We made sure she was independent we taught her how to do things on her own. And well let me tell you she is independent. From when she was a baby we actually had to teach her how to cuddle. She never liked to be swaddled, she wanted as much space as possible. My wife would sneak into her room in the middle of the night, pick her up and rock her. Over time she started to cuddle, and well now can be a bit of a cuddle bug. Then came "Bee", and from the moment she came out she wanted to be held close wanted to know we were there. She is affectionate and very conscious of those around her. She isn't quite as brave but will try anything her sister does. "Bee" has us and "Duck", we have learned from our first and now balance two kids. So I know there is no way to raise one exactly the same as the other but still looking at the little difference I ponder. I go over everything that happened in the operating room when we had the C-section, were the little differences the start of the girls unique qualities? I think about the differences in day care, about bed time routines, so many variables. Is it all our actions that guides them or were they just naturally different? I really think its a balance of both. I look at these girls running around and know there will always be differences, we will always try to be fair but there will always be differences. Would we really want two children exactly the same, no.. never, the little differences are what makes them unique. The end goal is to raise strong, confident individuals who are respectful, hard working and loving! Girl or boy these are qualities I think we should all strive for. I guess I may over think things but these girls are my world, and I want to know I have done everything I can to give them opportunity to succeed.
Tuesday, 21 January 2014
Pick her up!
The voices are raised, "Duck" is upset, "Bee" is laughing, they run after each other. I try to step in, but before I can "Duck" winds up and shoves "Bee" to the floor. "Bee" is now screaming with anger and frustration, "Duck" is still yelling with frustration because "Bee" had her toy. Tension is thick, I want to scream right along with them... I stop and try a different approach, I kneel down beside them, let "Bee" know she is okay and then start talking to "Duck". I ask her if she would want someone to push her down, she shakes her head. Then I go into an explanation, learning myself as the words come out of me.
Family is about picking each other up, not knocking each other down. No matter how frustrated we are we should always be there to support our family, help them when they are weak, help them when they need us and give them space when they need it. I don't believe the statement that blood is thicker then water (well other then the literal sense) these bonds are built over time. If we learn to love our siblings, pick them up instead of knock them down from a young age, learn to hold them with love, understand them better then anyone else, then this will be the strongest bond we will ever have. No matter bother, sister, cousin or friend, love is learned over time.
"Duck" looked at me, there was a hint of understanding, I knew that this was fairly heavy for a child, but I will be repeating the over and over again, in many different words over the next 20 years. As a parent I am learning as much as my children. We make our mistakes and we have our victories, but consistency of love and understanding will build strong adults. Everyday is a new lesson for the whole family, and as we build ourselves over time I know we will be strong. "Duck" helped pick "Bee" up gave her a hug and the headed off to play. A small victory among crazy days.
Family is about picking each other up, not knocking each other down. No matter how frustrated we are we should always be there to support our family, help them when they are weak, help them when they need us and give them space when they need it. I don't believe the statement that blood is thicker then water (well other then the literal sense) these bonds are built over time. If we learn to love our siblings, pick them up instead of knock them down from a young age, learn to hold them with love, understand them better then anyone else, then this will be the strongest bond we will ever have. No matter bother, sister, cousin or friend, love is learned over time.
"Duck" looked at me, there was a hint of understanding, I knew that this was fairly heavy for a child, but I will be repeating the over and over again, in many different words over the next 20 years. As a parent I am learning as much as my children. We make our mistakes and we have our victories, but consistency of love and understanding will build strong adults. Everyday is a new lesson for the whole family, and as we build ourselves over time I know we will be strong. "Duck" helped pick "Bee" up gave her a hug and the headed off to play. A small victory among crazy days.
Sunday, 19 January 2014
Born to take over.
The nurse brought that brand new bundle to me. I looked down into her soft face, I had never felt this before. I had myself only known her for a moment and I knew I would love her forever. As a father you think you know this the moment you hear you will be a father. You think you know this as you see the love in your partners eyes as she carries your child. It makes sense that the mother would be connected, they have been part of each other for 9 months. They have felt each other and known they had each other. As a father you stand on the outside and hope you understand. But the moment you hold that child your mind is blown, this you have never felt before. Still 3 and a half years later I shiver when I go back to that moment. A moment that will be etched in my my memory forever. "Duck" was going the moment she was cut from the womb. (My wife had been through a long labour and was tired and finally the Doctor recommended a C-section for the health of the baby and mommy.) "Duck" was pushing her way out, as soon as her hands were out she grabbed the suction tube.Through ours of labour she never flinched, the Doctors and Nurses were impressed, she never showed a sign of stress and come our strong. She was taking control as soon as she could. I look at her now and see that same determination. She steps into a room and wants to know what is happening and what she can do. As a father I cherish that, I want to foster that and see her grow into an amazing women, strong, confident and beautiful. As her and her sister run around playing, fighting, loving and being kids I smile to myself and know I am a father, a dad, and my role is to protect them, pick them up when they fall and love everything they do. I will have days that the drive me to the brink, where I will feel like they are just trying to set me off, to get under my skin, but then I will think of that tiny baby girl holding the surgeons suction tool and smile. I have a responsibility to be here, be strong, teach and always love. I have made that commitment to my wife and she stands beside me, strong, confident and beautiful a perfect model for our girls.
Friday, 17 January 2014
Being Daddy!
In the world there is no feeling like being a father. Hearing the word daddy ring through the house can warm your heart. Knowing those little girls need me will give me the strength to fight through anything. I thought I was strong when I became a husband, when I knew someone needed me. Then our first child was born, everything changed. I became stronger and weaker all at the same time. I felt so proud, so strong, so directed. But at the same time I felt exposed, I felt vulnerable, taking the responsibility changes everything. As I have grown with my family I want nothing more then to be a great father and husband. Every little thing my girls do I see as a reflection of myself, a reflection of my actions. When they say they are happy I feel like I am doing something right, when they are scared I feel I need to be a guardian. I have two little girls and a beautiful wife, over the last 3 and a half years we have been on the roller coaster of early parenthood, we have had challenges we could never have prepared for and so far overcome each of them. Everyday is a new experience, many are the greatest days of our lives, some are very difficult to find the silver lining, but no matter what happens when we sit down and embrace our family we are brought to a moment of peace.
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