As fathers day has come and gone I have been thinking about being a dad, being a husband and being a son. These are all important roles as a dad, you don't have to be good at every role to be a good dad but I think it helps when you have the option.
For all the dads out there the first step is holding that child, it doesn't become real until that little one is in your arms and there is nothing like it. You think you know love before this, but when that child hits yours arms and you accept them as yours there is an instant unbreakable love. I now have three little ones and the feeling hasn't changed, once that little one is in my hands I am overwhelmed with a feeling of responsibility, a feeling of caring and a sense of pride.
As the child grows so does your love, really I don't see it as something we can control, if you spend time with your child your sense of responsibility will continue to grow. You know that you are that child's guardian, the lessons you teach the time you spend will shape that child.
As a husband the birth of a child is also when things begin to change. That person you have spent all your time with now has a full time commitment. You feel helpless at times, you try to help but seem to get in the way half the time. But as time goes you learn, you learn to help, to just be there to talk, to try and pick up a few extra chores. But the important job of a husband in being a dad is truly loving your partner. How you treat your loved one sets a precedent for how that child will treat people in the future. Kids are sponges, they pick up if you are aggressive, if you are passive, if you are angry and if you love. Their future relationships will be based primarily on how you love your partner.
Finally being a dad is based on being a son. For those of us fortunate to have our father in the picture when we become a dad there is very few greater moments of pride. No matter our relationship with our father they are always a huge part of our lives. For most son's the moment they become a man is the moment they learn to love and respect their father. The moment that they understand that person did their best, tried every day to make the best life and set the best values they could. Once we learn that is all we can do, that we became the person we are because our parent tried their best we can then move forward and put our best foot forward. If we continue to struggle with our parents and their decisions we will always struggle to accept ourselves and thus our children.
I am fortunate as a dad as I have support from all sides. I have an amazing wife, amazing mother and father and am most importantly friends with all of them. Every day is a new challenge but I know I will try my best and look forward to see the children I raise and the path they will take.
