Coffee

As the evening sets in, dinner is done and things are settling down... Well things are suppose to be settling down. "Bee" is at full go, its as though we have the flash living with us, or maybe by the path of destruction a small tornado. It has been a long week and all I want is calm, "Duck" is ready to settle down, and if it wasn't for the buzzing "Bee" I think she would. Before supper "Duck" was slinking around the house walking like a rusty robot telling me how tired she was, she insisted she needed to be packed around the house... didn't happen, but she kept insisting. Now she is still tired but with the activity of her sister she is getting louder and more expressive (whiny). Everything is starting to swirl, "Duck" is losing what little calm she had and "Bee" seems to be getting more energy. The phone rings... wonderful, I have one child whining at full speed and all logic slipping from her actions and another taring the place up and I get to try and hold a conversation. Some how I muddle through it... and the odd part is the person on the other end barely even reacted to me hushing kids and asking them to repeat themselves every third word... yes there may have been a better time to talk, but apparently the person on the other other end of the line was not too concerned, regardless we made it through the conversation. I set the phone down, I look over at the coffee maker... I started making a coffee when I got home 2 hours ago... Its getting late I really shouldn't... A shrill cry comes from the other room, my hand wraps around the cup... I have no option, to survive the love that is my kids I need the sweet elixir to get me through. I finish making the drink, take two seconds to let the sweet smell, and flavour take me away... 2 seconds is all I get. Finally I get the kids settled out, it took most of what I had left, I may not have made it without that black fuel we call coffee. Once I get them to their bed, lay them down, read a story and as I sing their lullaby's a calm comes over me and I am reminded how worth it, it all is. If I give the last of myself everyday to make sure their life is amazing, that they feel loved and learn the ways of our world then it is a day well worth it.

Listen to my own words.

So the other day "Duck" responded to everything I said with But! Finally it was enough, I don't want a child who has an excuse for everything, I struggled with this myself for while, instead of finding an answer I found an excuse. I made a big deal about the word 'but'. Every time she said it for the next half hour I turned around wiggled my butt and said, this is a butt, no more 'buts'. Well my unorthodox and maybe mildly insane method worked. No more 'buts', she was answering questions and taking more ownership. I felt rather proud of myself. Within a weak though I was hearing my own words, I was trying to explain something and out came the word 'but', the word was barely out of my mouth and "Duck" looked at me very sternly and said "Daddy no Buts!" Wow, time for a wake up call. Within another week I am hearing it a few times a day. I made a big deal about it and now I am learning. I had a valid point, and now that I am hearing my own words back to me I have a challenge. Can I live my life with no 'buts'. Can I avoid having to explain myself by having the right words to begin with, can I avoid questioning my actions and be positive. So now I try to live without 'buts' I guess in some ways its living without regrets!