To Compete

I wake up, early, my alarm this morning is once again my child yelling for me, needing me. It may be Duck has wet her bed, it may be Bee with a full diaper, or another of various nighttime needs. I drag myself from bed, handle the situation, take a moment to cuddle whoever has called me and slip back to bed if there is time for another hour of sleep. Most times it is only once or twice a week but it seems we are on another run of every night or two for the last two weeks or three weeks. Energy levels are low and it is tough to find desire to keep a smile during the day. Within it all I wouldn't give up a moment, just when you are ready to collapse, the small voice that called me in says, "Daddy I love you..." I reply in a soft voice "I love you too..." she says "Daddy I just... just need a cuddle". My heart melts I turn and walk back into the room, the fact that it is 2:00am and I will be up in 4 hours to get ready for work, drifts away. Where it wares one down is walking into work. Parents are working two full time jobs, and no matter how much you love your day job, your family will always be your passion. I talk to coworkers who try to sympathies, and I want to laugh when they try to compare, when they relate with how last month they work up to let their dog out. I was probably doing the same thing 5 years ago so I try to smile and nod. But by noon my energy level is low, I am still thinking about why Duck woke up last night, what Bee will get into when I get home, and how I can make sure my wife is comfortable as she is carrying our third child. So part of me starts to think that I should struggle to compete with my coworkers that do not have kids at home... then I remember I have more to work for, I have a family that counts on me. A smile overcomes the exhaustion, a little energy starts to bubble up within me and I drive forward. I know tonight when I hear that little voice call me part of me will be smiling with pride. Every day is a challenge, but it is a challenge I love and I live for. Being a dad, nothing beats it.

If you love someone set them free!

No lock them up in there room until they are 18. Some days those we love will challenge us so much that we feel like we are out of options. "Duck" is going through another independence kick, she knows what she wants and anything less would be in civilized. We are raising her to be independent ,  to learn how to be strong willed and stand up for herself. The challenge comes in balancing respect, safety and the needs of others within that. I don't think there is a smooth way to introduce any of these life lessons, it seems odd just to throw them all on at once but what other option is there? These lessons go hand in hand, it may be easier to just lock them in their room and throw then a sandwich a couple times a day but then you are not raising a good person you are not parenting and you are missing out on so much. We get frustrated as parents but that is because we care! We don't want them to make our mistakes but deep down we know they will. So we struggle through the lessons we listen carefully and we try to make sure everyday is better then the last. One day we will set them free and that day we will wonder did we give them the tools they need, did we forget anything. But we will smile through the tears knowing that women in front of us is our little girl who fought with us over weather baby got to take her entire wardrobe to daycare or just two outfits!